


A Series of Unfortunate Events

by cells55



Category: The Mindy Project
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-29
Updated: 2014-07-13
Packaged: 2018-01-21 07:32:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1542686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cells55/pseuds/cells55
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sub-title: Adventures in Wedding Planning.<br/>Journey with Danny and Mindy as they attempt to plan a wedding...it would be far too easy if everything went smoothly, right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Love on Top

It was, perhaps, only right that the chaos and colour that his life had become would lead him to this point. Once upon a time, he was carefully measured, kept inside the lines. That time was long gone.

A matter clearly illustrated by the fact that he was in fake jail.

“Look,” he said again, trying to move his hands to gesture indicatively – forgetting the cable tie that still bound his hands together. Fuck, that hurt. “This really isn’t – I’m not some crazy person, I was trying to do something nice – “

The security guard, ‘Al’ according to the serious-looking badge on his chest, just stared at him impassively. It was likely that Al had heard these kind of excuses before.

“Something  _romantic_ , you know?” he raised his eyebrows, trying to appeal to Al’s sense of camaraderie. “You know what women are like, it’s gotta be the big gesture or go home, am I right?”

Al didn’t blink. “Mr Castellano – “

“Doctor,” Danny interjected, and immediately regretted it. Al had the expression of a guy who did not like doctors.

“ _Dr_  Castellano, the items you had in your possession were highly dubious. You were surly with the guard, as well as sweating profusely and acting skittishly. We consider this combination to be worrying, at best.”

 "That was a - your guard misinterpreted the situation," he argued desperately. "I sometimes, you know, I sweat - I'm human!"

"No one is disputing that," Al replied drily.

Just when Danny was beginning to wonder if he was destined to spend the whole night like this - a night for which he'd had _very_ different intentions - the door swung open, and Mindy stood there, clearly trying to hold back a smile. Al looked up, and almost flinched at the sight of her. “Oh, god, it’s  _you_ \- “

“Hello to you too, Al,” she replied sweetly. “How’s Esther? Is Lucas enjoying college?”

Al sighed, heavily, and turned to Danny. “ _This_ is the person coming to bail you out?”

Danny nodded, glancing up at Mindy. “Look, just tell them that I’m not a crazed sociopath and we can get out of here.”

“Well, I’m not going to  _lie_  to them,” Mindy smirked, words that seemed eerily familiar to him. Was she wreaking some kind of revenge on him right now?

“Min – “

“Kidding, kidding,” she placed a supportive hand on his back. “Chill, Castellano.” She turned her gaze to Al. “Al, I know he’s sweaty and suspicious looking – I get it. He’s a one-man terror alert in the wrong lighting. But he’s totally harmless. I can say without a shadow of a doubt that he was not here with the intention of hurting himself or others.”

Al had had a long day. Every minute of this was almost physically painful. “Well, maybe we could release him into your care...” he replied reluctantly. He reached over, scissors in hand, to cut the cable tie. “As long as you’re both off the premises within fifteen minutes.”

Danny’s face fell, rubbing his wrists. “We can’t go up?”

“Dr Castellano, you were taken into our custody for trying to take questionable goods to the viewing deck, and for attempting to  _bribe_ a security guard,” Al replied, voice like lead. “ _No_ , you  _cannot_  go up.”

Mindy rubbed Danny’s back. “It’s okay. We can come back another time, maybe a day when you’re not so...fraught?”

“No, it needs to be tonight!” He stood up, looking to Al. “And I need my stuff back.”

“The fireworks have been confiscated, sir, as well as the matches.”

“Fireworks?!" She poked him in the ribs. "Danny, what the hell?”

“That was – _ow_ \- that was Morgan’s doing, I swear to God I didn’t know they were in there,” he waved a hand dismissively.

Mindy looked over at Al. "He must be telling the truth. He takes God very seriously."

Al just sighed, again, beyond weary at this point. "Fine."

“So can I have my bag? Please?”

“What is so important that it can’t be replaced?” Mindy demanded, growing impatient. Her hand was on her hip now; he knew that was never a good sign. “I  _know_ you never have anything other than a newspaper and a sandwich in that thing!”

Al hauled the bag up on to the desk, unzipping it. Danny’s stomach dropped. “No, wait – “

“Let’s see...a newspaper,” he held it up, acknowledging Mindy with a nod. “A sandwich...seriously, you predicted that?"

Mindy smiled beatifically. "What can I say, I'm one of a kind."

"No kidding," the man muttered, digging in to the bag again. "A...is that a letter - ?”

“ – it’s a speech,” Danny mumbled awkwardly.

“ – and...ah.”

They all stared mutely at the ring box for a moment, before Danny snatched it from Al’s hand, and, to hell with everything, dropped down on one knee.

Mindy looked suitably shocked; Al looked pretty surprised, too.

“Min, I - you know what, I can’t remember everything I wrote down in the speech. I know I said you’re all I want to wake up to, and all I want to go to sleep next to.” His whole body was clammy with sweat, now. “I’m pretty sure there was something about soulmates, and I even put in a Beyonce quote for you. I think from Love on Top. Because we'd be on top of the Empire State Building, right?" He muttered something inaudible to himself, shook his head. “Mindy Lahiri, I love you, I’m in love with you, and not just because you rescue me from fake jail. Will you marry me?”

Her face was a picture – a picture of someone both thrilled and slightly confused. It was probably the setting that brought about the latter, though.

“Are you kidding me, Danny!” She dragged him to his feet, and threw her arms around him. “Of course I’ll marry you!”

He held her tight, relishing the feeling of total relief and joy; when he did pull back, it was only enough so that he could press a kiss to her lips.

The only thing that interrupted the moment was Al, clearing his throat.

“Oh, right...” Danny pulled back properly. “Sorry.”

“Congratulations,” Al replied, his voice devoid of any feeling. “Please don’t invite me to the wedding.”


	2. All Riled Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After an eventful proposal, Danny and Mindy's engagement party kicks off in style.

"I'm just saying, we're having a party at the wedding," he had said. "Do we need another?"

"First off, that's not a party," she'd insisted. "And second, the answer is always yes."

There was no point in arguing with her. She basically owned him now. This wasn't anything he had a problem with, although she seemed to relish the fact far too much. Within hours, he had been helping craft the e-vites to their engagement party. Mindy had informed him that paper invitations were for cave people.

It was actually pretty fun so far, although he would never admit that out loud. A lot of their favourite people were spread out down a long table in one of their favourite restaurants. Dr Schulman was swigging wine, telling Mrs Castellano all about the joys of retirement. Rishi, Richie and Peter were deep in conversation, sending him little smirks every now and then, which worried him intensely. Morgan was grilling Mindy's parents for every detail of their daughter's life, apparently from conception onwards. No one was fighting, no one was too drunk, no one had invited a prostitute. It was a good party.

And amongst it all was his fiancée - he still glowed at the very word - chatting dresses with Gwen, Maggie and Betsy. She hadn't stopped smiling all night. Every now and then she caught his gaze from across the table, and knew that she glowed with all this too.

"So, the joys of matrimony, eh?" Jeremy spoke up from his other side, beer in hand. "Many congratulations again, old chap. I rather like seeing this side of you."

"Oh - well, thanks..." 

"And I have to warn you...your bachelor party is shaping up to be rather debauched," Jeremy nodded at the three men, sniggering together. Peter was showing the other two something on his phone. "A 'what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas' situation, except transposed to the heady heights of Atlantic City."

Danny cringed. "Richie didn't get any input last time. He probably feels the need to make up for it."

"I rather suspect that it is Peter doing most of the driving there," Jeremy grinned. "So is the wedding all planned out already? Big Catholic church, a six-hour mass, guilt and confetti for all?"

"We haven't really talked about it yet," Danny shrugged, looking over at his fiancée again. "But I'm happy to follow her lead." Off Jeremy's questioning look, he continued: "I had the big, Catholic wedding. It was followed by a big, shitty marriage. The day itself isn't the big deal, is it - it's what happens afterwards."

Jeremy paused, looking almost suspicious. "Good lord, you've become veritably articulate in your old age, Danny."

"Shut up," Danny smirked.

"Well, if the plans are up to Mindy, then who knows what lies ahead of us," Jeremy remarked gravely, taking another swig of beer. "Some kind of Beyonce-themed, glitter parade of excitement."

Danny just smiled. "I dunno. That sounds okay to me."

Jeremy raised an eyebrow. "You've changed," he noted, but fondly.

*******

It was Mindy's idea, naturally, to go on to a club once the elder members of the group had gone home. Danny, buzzing from the champagne toasts and a few beers, couldn't find it in his heart to refuse her. Which was how they ended up in a busy but not packed club, on the edge of the dance floor, watching Peter move with surprising ease and rhythm. It was like finding out that Miley Cyrus was also an accomplished nuclear physicist; baffling yet undeniably impressive.

"What on earth...?" Danny wondered.

"He's Mr Wedding," Mindy smiled fondly. "Or Mr Club, tonight, I guess. He will have that floor heaving within minutes, I swear to God." She shot him a look. "What, did you think _you_ were the only one blessed with smooth moves?"

Danny smirked. "Of course not..."

"We could ask the DJ to play Try Again, if you like," she teased, straightened his lapel.

"That was a private show," he reminded her, leaning in to drop an affectionate kiss to her neck. "You can get another one when we're at home if you're good."

"When am I ever good?" she sighed, pleased - then tensed. It was enough to cause Danny to pull back.

"What?" He followed Mindy's gaze, over his shoulder and across to a booth on the other side of the dance floor. In it was a group of besuited guys, and on the edge was Cliff. He hadn't noticed them yet...but knowing Danny's luck, it was only a matter of time. "Min..." his voice dragged her gaze back to him. "It's been a year. He's a grown man. No way is this going to be a problem. Just relax and enjoy yourself, okay?"

She allowed him a small smile. "Okay."

"I'll get you one of those colourful drinks you like," he offered, "anything for my lady love."

Her smile strengthened. "Okay, ew. Please don't."

"Sorry," he smirked, and, kissing her one more time, he extricated himself from her arms to head over to the bar.

Richie was propped up, waiting for his drinks. "Not blazing up the dance floor yet, bro?"

"Not yet," Danny grinned back. "Where's Ramon?"

"He is in a deep discussion of window treatments with Mindy's friend," he nodded in their direction. "I pointed out that we were in a club, like young people with social lives, but they ignored me."

Richie's drink arrived, and the barman soon got Danny's order in, too. 

"It's good to see you this happy, Dan," Richie said next, holding up his drink to clink. "You and Mindy are perfect together."

"Thanks, man," he smiled gratefully. "Just gotta get to the wedding in one piece."

"Wedding?" A familiar but unwelcome voice cut in. Two Castellano heads turned to look at Cliff Gilbert, Attorney at Law and Incredibly Drunk, stood next to them. "Wow. Congratulations, Danny. I hear they say second time's the charm. God loves a try-er. You try and try, Danny."

Richie stepped forward protectively. "What the hell, man?"

Danny was mildly distracted by his kid brother, who he still imagined to be six years old and scared of the dark, squaring up to a guy. In any other situation it would've been amusing. "Look, Cliff, we'll mind our business and you mind yours," he asserted firmly.

"You people have not shown yourself capable of minding your own business in the past," Cliff replied, voice slurring ever so slightly. The guy looked tired, but tightly wound, itching for a fight. "But, hey, maybe you guys will work out? I mean, until Mindy gets distracted again and latches on to someone else. You and I both know know she's got a wandering mouth."

Danny didn't see red; he didn't have time to. With the power of several drinks under his belt, as well as at least a decade of punching bags at the gym, his fist connected with Cliff's jaw, sending the guy reeling backward. As if from nowhere, Jeremy and Morgan appeared, positioning themselves between the pair. 

"Hey, hey, whoa there doc - "

"I'll kick your fucking ass - " Cliff spat, clutching his jaw. "I'll _sue_ you."

"Go ahead," Danny threw his hands up. "Knock yourself out, Gilbert."

"Okay, okay, we need to cool you down," Morgan decided, wrestling Danny towards the door. Outside, it was calmer, colder, and that was enough to sober him up. His hand was throbbing. But he didn't care about that. He knew he had to gather his thoughts before - 

"Daniel Castellano, what the hell?" Mindy came tearing out of the club a few moments later. "You _hit_ him?"

"The guy was making digs about this being his second marriage," Richie explained. "He was being a total asshole."

Mindy sighed. "Danny - "

"No, look, he can say what he likes about me," Danny asserted tiredly. "But he can't say things about you and not expect to be punched in the face. I'm sorry, that's just how it is."

She paused, taking this in. "You were...protecting my honour?" she asked. "That's both adorable and ridiculous, Danny. This is the new millennium. Sisters are doing it for themselves."

They just stared at each other for a moment; neither one was going to back down. Finally, she broke the silence. "Show me your hand."

He held it out sheepishly.

"Doesn't look like you broke anything - "

"I know how to hit a guy, Min," he interrupted.

She gave him a look that silenced him completely. "We need to get you home and put an ice pack on it before it swells to the size of New England." She glanced back at the club. "And away from here before Cliff has you arrested. I can't bail you out for the second time in a month."

"Okay," he sighed, and felt a sinking, guilty feeling in his gut. "I'm sorry, Min. I didn't mean to wreck your night - "

She held her finger against his lips. "Our night. And you didn't wreck anything," she promised. "C'mon, let's get you home."

"Good night, guys," Richie added, shooting his brother a smirk. "Maybe clubs aren't your scene anymore, Danny?"

"Shut up," Danny groused with a smile. "See you tomorrow."

"Don't hit anyone else on your way home!" was the call that rang out after them as they climbed into a cab.

Danny looked over at his fiancée once the cab set off. "I love you, you know."

She rolled her eyes, but gave him a smile that eased the ache in his hand a little. "I know."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, I just really wanted Danny to punch a guy somehow in this fic. I have issues! Thank you for all your lovely reviews so far - I hope you enjoyed this chapter, too. :)  
> \- C x


	3. The Sweetest Thing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mindy and Danny go cake-tasting, with interesting results.

There was a small, warm hand sneaking its way under his t-shirt, tracing idle patterns on his skin. He shifted a little, grunted something which was supposed to be a greeting, and heaved a sleepy sigh.

"Danny..." the sing-song voice of his fiancée was gentle but determined. "It's time to get up..."

He grunted again, and managed to mumble, "but you're touching me with intent..."

"Intent to wake you up," she corrected him, and withdrew her hand. He pouted. "We'll have all the time in the world to fuck each other's brains out later."

He opened his eyes, rolling on to his back to meet her gaze. She looked remarkably perky, considering she wasn't normally much of a morning person. "Are you trying to make it impossible for me to leave this bed?"

She grinned. "No sex, Castellano. Not until we have had an exciting morning of..." She let the pause hang in the air, hands posed dramatically. "...cake tasting!"

"Can't we just stay here and order one of those cakes off the internet?" he asked, his hand wandering to her thigh. 

She gently smacked it away. "You barely trust Google to answer questions for you, Danny. How would you cope with actually ordering goods and services online? I would have to listen to you worry that it was all a scam from a Nigerian prince for the next three months."

He sighed. "Okay. Fine. I'll get up."

"Cake-tasting, Danny," she sighed, too, but happily. "It's the American dream: a valid excuse to eat lots of different types of cakes without anyone accusing you of being a glutton."

"That's the American dream?" he asked, reluctantly sitting up.

"It really is."

He met her gaze again across their bed. "And you promise there'll be sex afterwards?"

She smirked. "Oh, definitely. You know how sugar gets me going."

That was enough to get him out of bed and heading for the bathroom. "Well, since it's the American dream and all, I guess we can go..."

The sound of her laughter followed him to the sink. "You're such a good person, Daniel Castellano!"

*****

Thirty minutes into cake-tasting, and Danny wasn't sure who would throttle him first: his fiancée, or Sue, the artisan baker with a very thin skin when it came to her creations.

"Mango in a cake?" Danny asked dubiously. "Cakes should just be vanilla or chocolate. Coffee, if you're feeling adventurous."

Sue looked as if he had personally insulted all her offspring. "There's a lot more to the art of cake-making than just - "

"It's okay, he doesn't have the final ruling anyway," Mindy smiled to smooth things over. "I mean, his favourite flavour of ice cream is vanilla. Not even with sprinkles." She shrugged her shoulders. "But I decided to marry him anyway."

"Too kind," muttered her fiancé with a smirk.

"Just try it, anyway," Sue was not deterred. "You might be surprised by the depth and delicacy of the flavour."

"Yeah, I might be."

Sue didn't seem to catch the sarcasm - just slid forward a plate piled high with bite-sized pieces. Each one had a shock of yellow-orange frosting in the middle. "It's one of the most popular choices for a summer wedding."

Mindy popped one in her mouth, closing her eyes in pleasure for a moment - an act which prompted an involuntary tightening of muscles in Danny. He couldn't look away. "Good, is it?" he asked quietly.

She seemed to hear the weight of lust behind his question and shot him a grin. Oh, she knew her power alright. "It's delicious."

"So? The groom should try some too, right?" Sue nudged the plate towards him.

He sighed, tearing his gaze away from the much more pleasing sight of Mindy licking frosting from her fingers. "Okay, okay..."

And that was the last thing he remembered.

*****

Sunshine woke him up, and when had he fallen asleep, anyway? He came to much more slowly than normal - it was like wading through molasses. His arm was sore, and the first thing he did when he opened his eyes was look down at it to check why.

Huh. An IV.

He glanced around, more curious than scared - probably helped on that front by whatever was being pumped in to him. He took in the familiar surroundings of the hospital; just beyond the door, he could see Mindy talking to a doctor he didn't recognise. He sat up a little - he wasn't a friggin' invalid, even if he was in a hospital bed for reasons he couldn't explain - and reached for his chart.

"Hey, patients don't read their own charts." She had re-entered the room without him even noticing, which was unusual. He made it a rule in his life to notice her wherever she went. "That's a pinchable offence." Reaching his side, she smoothed her hand down his cheek. "How are you feeling?"

"Mostly just confused," he replied. "What am I in for? Being too devastatingly handsome for my own good?"

"Cute," she smirked. "Maybe too egotistical for your own good?"

"Never." He shook his head. "Seriously, though.."

"You really don't remember? It was completely melodramatic, Danny. One bite of cake and you keeled over. Apparently you're hugely, ridiculously allergic to mango." 

He scowled. "That's not a real thing." He paused to consider it. "Real men are allergic to...snake venom. Pilates. Diet soda. Men aren't allergic to fruit."

"I think the anaphylactic shock proves otherwise, Castellano," she countered. 

"I feel like maybe you're exaggerating this," he wondered. "I must've eaten mango before in my life, I've never wound up in hospital."

"This is not something to exaggerate about," she replied, and the slight edge to her voice lifted his gaze. "It was terrifying, Danny. You could've died."

He felt a tug at his heart, his hand moving instinctively to hers. "I'm sorry."

"You didn't know. Just...don't do it again, okay?" She rolled her eyes at herself as the emotion caught her words, brought tears to her eyes. "I feel like I only just got you. I can't lose you to a mango."

He squeezed her hand to get her attention again; their gazes met just as a tear rolled unchecked down her cheek. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

They sat there quietly for a few moments, holding hands. Danny knew she needed a quiet couple of minutes to recover her composure, and besides, he was happy just to look at her. 

"So..."

She smiled, this time, and the tears were gone. "So. I think Sue is going to feel incredibly disappointed in us if we go for what she called a 'basic' flavour. She was trying to pitch exotic fruits even as they were loading you into the ambulance."

The corner of his mouth twitched up. "I can't collapse at our wedding. That would ruin the mood of the day."

"You're right. It would be a complete buzzkill," she agreed. "I guess she'll just to live with her disappointment, then."

He couldn't hold back the smile any longer. "She will."

Mindy matched his smile, but busied herself straightening his blankets. "Anyway. The doc says I can take you home in a couple hours. In the meantime...is there anything I can get you?"

"I've got you," he shrugged. "What else is there?"

"Ugh, Danny, there was a time when you weren't capable of such sentiments," she teased fondly. "And your answer to that question would've been 'pretty much anything else'."

He studied her expression. "Nah...I'm not sure there was such a time..." he decided. "Not with you."

"These meds make you incredibly romantic and verbal," she was beaming by now. "I think I'll stock up and start spiking your drinking water."

"Stop with the sass-mouth and kiss me."

"Well...if you insist."


	4. Let It Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adventures in Wedding Planning continue: heavy traffic brings about more problems for Danny and Mindy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for your lovely feedback <3

"Ugh."

Silence. Apparently, not the reaction she was looking for.

"You've got to be kidding me..."

Danny shot a glance in her direction, tapping his finger on the steering wheel. Some inane pop was trickling through the speakers - _not_ his choice, he never got to choose driving music anymore - and the rhythm was starting to get in his veins.

"Seriously, this is - "

"Traffic, Min," he spoke at last. "It's stationary traffic, like it has been for the past thirty minutes."

"Okay, groucho, relax," she gave him a nudge. "I'm not allowed to voice my distaste?"

"Not if you intend to do it all the way there," he replied, pausing before adding, "my beloved."

"That doesn't get you out of anything, mister," she informed him. "Whose idea was this, anyway?"

He opened his mouth to reply.

"Never mind that. Why did we leave it so late? They said they needed the deposit by 2. We knew this _weeks_ ago. Are we actually idiots, Danny, and we're only just realising?"

"We're not idiots...we just struggle with time management. Especially when you wake me up and you're wearing that little -  "

"Oh, so it's my fault?" she shot him a smirk. "Ugh, why did we choose a place that only takes cheques? What is this, 1987?"

"Because it's the dream venue with the - those things in the trees, and a lake, and - you know, it's..." He trailed off awkwardly. "It's nice."

"You sure take in the salient details, don't you?"

"I take in enough," he defended himself. "I remember that you loved it. Isn't that the main thing?"

"You're such a suck-up," she sighed with a smile. "Which I love, by the way, don't get me wrong. But still a suck-up."

"Being in love with you and wanting you to be happy isn't the same as being a suck-up."

She reached over to squeeze his thigh. "Sure it isn't."

He met her gaze knowingly. "Hey, Lahiri, don't start what you can't finish."

"Who says I can't finish it?" she arched an eyebrow. He both loved and hated that such a simple gesture could affect him.

"In a car, in traffic, surrounded by strangers?" he wondered. "Even _you_ aren't that bad."

"Maybe not," she allowed. "But I like to rev you up and see what happens."

"I know you do," he smiled fondly.

"You like doing it to me, too," she added.

"I love it," he agreed.

A pause. "What were we talking about?"

"Traffic and its many evils."

"Right." She gently spun her engagement ring on her finger, letting the stone catch the light with each turn. "If we lose this venue, we'll have to have our wedding at an Arby's or something."

"It won't be that drastic," he assured her, as the traffic edged them forwards enough to only barely change their scenery. "There's always that place on Staten."

"Sweetie..."

"Look, how bad can it be? _I'm_ from Staten, and you like me well enough," he winked.

"I just don't want to spend any part of my wedding day on a ferry," she replied. "You know how I feel about the open sea."

"It's hardly the open sea, Min - "

" - you're basically at the mercy of the ocean out there, Castellano. Drowning is _not_ on my itinerary."

"I'm pretty sure it's not on anyone's." He shifted in his seat so his body was angled more towards her. "And New York Bay is hardly the Bermuda Triangle."

"Geez, I let you watch _one_ documentary about the Bermuda Triangle and you start dropping it into every conversation."

"It's a fascinating subject!"

"Arguable," she retorted with a grin. "And...you're trying to distract me into agreeing to having our wedding in your mother's back yard."

He reached for her hand, stopping the spinning of the ring; for a moment or two, they were quiet, her hand cradled in his with only the soundtrack of a dozen car horns and an insipid piano-based love ballad on the radio. Finally, he caught her gaze again, and the corner of his mouth twitched up slightly. "Ma's back yard...now you mention it, that's not a bad idea at all."

She rolled her eyes to the heavens. "Jerk."

"Look, Min, it doesn't matter where we get married - as long as we get married," he pointed out. "I know your heart's set on this place, but we'll find somewhere else if we need to. All that matters is we're both there, wherever it is."

"And that there's cake."

"Right."

"And dancing."

"Naturally."

She stroked her finger idly up his thumb to the curve of his wrist, a smile playing at her glossed lips. "You soppy, eloquent weirdo. You always know what to say."

"I've got better at that," he acknowledged. "But I think we both know I haven't always had the way with words."

She shrugged, and the smile had grown to bewitch all her features. He couldn't look away. "Eh, you got there eventually. Mainly due to my good influence."

"Of course."

After reluctantly letting go of her hand in order to move the car a whole six metres forward, they took up their previous positions; he could feel the gentle swell of her pulse beneath his fingers. It was calming.

 "Want to play a game?"

He looked round apprehensively. "I guess...?"

"Fuck, Marry, Kill," she decided, with far more glee than it deserved. "Category 1 or Category 2?"

"How should I know? What are they?"

"You just choose a number, and then you _have_ to answer."

He sighed. "Fine. Uh...2."

"Co-workers," she beamed; he suspected a set-up. "Betsy, Tamra, Beverley."

"What was category 1?"

"Disney princesses," she replied lightly. "I was gonna give you Elsa, Rapunzel and Jasmine."

"Technically Elsa is a Queen."

"God, I really have to text Danni and tell her you've watched _Frozen_ without her having to guilt you in person," she decided. "Want to sing me _Let it Go_ instead?"

"Shut up," he smirked. "Isn't the category of our co-workers...inappropriate?"

"No more inappropriate than you giving me a damn good seeing to in Phlebotomy when they're all out for lunch."

His chest tightened a little at just the memory. "Fair point."

"So?"

"Okay...uh...I guess I'd marry Betsy. She'd make me lots of cake," he considered. "As for Tamra - "

"Oh my god, I can't believe you're actually answering," she sat forward a little, her eyes wide with excitement. "I thought you'd keep making your little excuses and argue about integrity and - "

"You _said_ I had to answer!"

"Oh, god, you'd marry Betsy?" she giggled. "Do I need to be worried?"

He shot her a look. "Am I not trapped in stationary traffic, trying to get to _our_ wedding venue with a non-refundable cheque in my back pocket?"

"You are," and she leaned over for a soft kiss. "You're adorable. Even if you do have a secret thing for our co-worker."

"Stop," he mumbled against her lips. "Can we change the subject, please?"

"Okay," she pulled back with a devious grin. "So...category 3, or category 4?"

This was going to be a long journey.


	5. Stags and Hens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the night of the bachelor and bachelorette parties...

"Well, well, well, well, well, well, _well_..."

Danny felt her gaze twist to him with alarming speed. "Peter, Danny? One call, and you called _Peter_?"

"Jeremy wasn't answering his phone," Danny mumbled. If his head would just stop throbbing, he would have a much better handle on this whole situation. As it was, he could just about keep his eyes open at a squint without feeling nauseous.

"Yeah, Jer-bear is currently turning his British charms on to an impressionable young thing from Jersey, so..." Peter beamed, and let out a mighty sigh. "God, the air is so _crisp_ up here on the moral high ground. And the view - "

"Are you going to bail us out, or are you going to talk us to sleep?" Mindy interrupted. "And I think we all know that you have no place on any kind of high ground, moral or otherwise."

"Is that any way to speak to the man who holds your freedom in his hands?" Danny didn't need to look up at their colleague to know that the guy was enjoying this. "And did you think about how this would affect the practice? At this stage I am holding our tattered reputation in my handsome hands - "

"Forget it," Mindy sighed deeply. "I'll take whatever sentence they give me."

"Chill, Lahiri. Petey's got your back," Peter assured them. "I'll go pay up, and you two can take yourselves and your brand spanking new public-indecency records home."

They both sat there, listening as Peter's footsteps faded in to the distance, then Danny managed to tilt his head in his fiancée's direction. "Maybe death would be better."

She looked as weary as he felt. "Maybe," she agreed.

*****

With the mixture of schedules, and an insistence from the groom that he would not cross any bridges as part of the bachelor party experience, the Atlantic City plan had been nixed, and in its place was a fairly simple night out: steaks at one of Danny's favourite restaurants, drinks, maybe a club or two. Really, what could go wrong with that?

The bachelorette party had been planned the same night, "so you'll be too drunk to worry about me perving on the male stripper or getting your name tattoed on my ass," Mindy had said, not particularly reassuringly. "Great plan, right?"

Actually, it kinda was. Danny left their place at seven that evening, leaving Mindy choosing between gold or green glitter-based outfits, and he felt the dread that had been sitting heavily in his stomach for the past couple of days start to lighten. It would be a fun night out with the guys, and then he would get to fall into bed with one of his favourite versions of his fiancée: drunk Mindy, who was usually a little surly and a lot horny. The combination worked for him.

Maybe it was this optimism, instead of his usual carefully-guarded mistrust, that was his ultimate undoing.

*****

"To marriage," Jeremy held his glass aloft, blinking fiercely in an attempt to stay focused. "May your bride be wholesome and comely, may your future be dusky with promise, may your days be merry and bright - "

"There is so much going on there," Peter noted cheerfully, clinking glasses anyway. "Too much to choose from, so just assume I'm making fun of you."

"Assumed," Jeremy nodded. "And the kindest of regards to Mr - _Dr_ Daniel Castellano - as he strives forth into..."

They all watched him expectantly. Rishi was recording the whole thing on his phone; he'd started doing that pretty much since Jeremy and Peter hit their third drinks and decided to arm-wrestle.

"...into..."

Danny had to have another swig of his drink - he was _thirsty_ , and he couldn't just keep waiting for the end of this toast. "Into...?"

"Mindy?"

"Strives forth into _Mindy_?" Richie wondered. "Is this a new straight thing I've missed out on?"

"It sounds fucking _filthy_ ," Ramon agreed with some delight.

"No," Jeremy seemed to awaken from his spell, and gestured - spilling beer down his sleeve - across the crowded dance floor. "Mindy's over there. With her hens."

They all followed his gaze. Sure enough, Mindy - she'd chosen gold, a fine choice, Danny decided - was making a lot of headway with a bottle of champagne, surrounded by a group of equally drunk women.

"Hens?" Peter asked. "Is that some kind of dig? Because that's harsh, even for me - "

"It's a British thing," Jeremy replied dismissively. "Hen parties are the girls and stag parties are the men. We have a very raw, animal lustiness to our - is that Betsy?"

"She bought a new tube top for the evening," Morgan piped up. "It's a great story, actually - "

"Maybe we should go and buy them all another drink," Jeremy decided. "Don't you think? Wouldn't that be the _gentlemanly_ thing to do?"

No one needed convincing.

They were probably equal levels drunk, Danny figured, because she slipped her arms round his neck, kissed him sweetly, and said, "you taste like cigarettes" without punching him on the arm.

"How's your night going?" he asked, pulling her close.

"It's fun," she beamed. "You know I like being centre of attention. I also like tiaras, so..." She pointed to the sparkly number, complete with veil, that nestled in her dark locks. "It's all good, baby."

"Plus now you get to see me," he added.

"Mmm, yes I do." Her hand slid down his chest appreciatively. "I missed you."

"Missed you too," he agreed, unable to resist leaning in to taste the curve of her neck. She was delicious in so many ways. "You didn't get your head turned by a stripper?"

"You're the only one who does it for me, Castellano," she smirked, and suddenly he was aware that her hand had travelled further south, with what could only be described as Great Intent. "And looks like I do it for _you_ , too."

Thank the ever-loving Lord that their respective parties had drifted away - to the dance floor, to the bar, _who the fuck cared at this point_ , because he let out a moan that was impossible to disguise. His hand found its usual hold on her ass, and he tugged her even closer, if it was possible. "What are you trying to do to me, Lahiri?"

Her breath was hot against his ear, and - _fuck,_ her teeth grazed his earlobe; his knees almost buckled completely. "Wanna help me find the restroom? I need to...powder my nose."

The next few minutes were a blur, and he can't remember the last time he moved with such purpose. They stumbled in to an empty stall - was this the ladies' room? he didn't know, and had enough alcohol pumping through his veins to not really care, either - and she made quick work of his belt.

"I like this," he decided, toying briefly with the veil. "You should wear it...more often. To work, and...the post office..."

"How drunk are you?" she mumbled against his lips, yanking down his jeans just enough for access.

"Enough, but not too much," his hands trailed inelegantly up her thighs, pulling the gold skirt with them. "I think. You know?"

She giggled, her quick fingers finding the waistband of his boxers now too. "You're adorable."

With one swift move - seriously, he didn't know how he had it in him, the booze made him a little sleepy - he had her lifted up a little, held firmly against the wall, one hand steadying by her face so he didn't drop her on her ass. "I'm not adorable," he insisted. "I'm a - I'm fucking - I'm _Iron Man_."

With hindsight, it could've been the following short, but heated, debate, and her raucous laughter, that tipped people off to shenanigans in the end stall. And maybe he wouldn't have minded, but he was in the middle of a stirring defence of the comparison, all with his hand working magic up her skirt (her head tipped back, her throat exposed, eyes closed and luxurious moans trying to be heard over his speech), when security banged on the door.

Nothing kills the mood like security.

*****

Peter had not grown tired of the theme, even halfway home on the subway. "I mean, I get it from Mindy, she's always been a little _interesting_ , if you follow my drift..." His eyebrows waggled; Danny squinted at him suspiciously. "But _you_ , little buddy! Sex in a public place? I pictured you as a between-the-sheets only kinda dude."

"You need to stop picturing me like that, at all," Danny interjected. A small, cool hand found his, and gave him a squeeze. He let some of the tension sink from his shoulders. "Also, we didn't have sex. We...didn't get that far."

"Cock-blocked by security guards!" Peter crowed. "That's gotta sting. Kinda makes you look a little wussy in front of your lady friend, huh?"

Mindy slowly, but surely, straightened herself up  - she'd been leaning her head against the window the whole time, in direct contradiction to her longstanding rule about touching stuff on the trains - and fixed her gaze on their colleague. Although her hair was mussed up, and her eyeliner was smudged, and her skin had taken on the pale, slightly yellow look of someone in early liver failure, she still managed to hold herself upright. How the woman could look regal even when recovering from that kind of night was beyond him; just another thing to add to his list of how truly, bewilderingly amazing she was.

"Peter," she said, calmly, evenly. Not at all like she was about to throw up. "He wasn't wussy. He was manly." The tiniest hint of a smile tugged at the corner of her lips. "He was like Iron Man."

Danny held back his smile, squeezing her hand in return. Truly, bewilderingly, incredibly amazing.

Peter didn't seem convinced. "If you say so."


	6. The Nearness of You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They've reached the wedding day at last - or the night before.  
> A short, hopefully sweet, end to this fic. :)

The room was pitch-black, just how she liked it - she didn't like to be able to see her own hand in front of her face, it had to be that dark. She'd had to let go of her need for silence as soon as she'd moved to New York - an unattainable dream - but she could at least manage darkness. For someone with such a vivid imagination, she found the inky black comforting as she drifted off to sleep.

She was on the edge of slumber when the bedroom door opened, a sliver of light stretching across the covers; he moved, attempting stealth and failing as he shut the door behind him.

She didn't open her eyes, just waited for the familiar dip in the mattress, for his arms to circle her waist, his chest to press against her back. The small signs that meant that all was right with the world.

A few moments later, she spoke up, voice heavy with fatigue. "Thought you were staying at your mom's tonight..."

His sigh tickled her neck. "I didn't want to be away from you. Tradition be damned," he murmured, before adding deferentially, "I'll be gone before you're up in the morning."

She smiled slightly, just as much as she could manage in this state of tiredness. "You better, mister. You can't see me in my dress before the ceremony..."

He was quiet a while; Mindy considered just drifting back to sleep. But then: "We're getting married tomorrow."

She could feel his smile at her neck, hear the slight edge of awe in his voice. "We are."

"Thank god," he remarked softly. "Wedding planning was going to kill me."

She gave him a little dig with her elbow. "It nearly did, at one point."

"Worth it." He adjusted his hold on her just slightly, holding her as close as he could, and murmured, "my wife...", letting it hang in the still, dark air. It was the sweetest sound she could hope to hear.

They both settled in to the next silence; she was dozing off again, waves of sleep pulling her in. She'd thought at one time that she would be far too excited about getting married to sleep - but there was something so inevitable about marrying Danny tomorrow, so normal and natural and just...right, that had left her with calmness sinking down to her very bones. Of course they were getting married. It was just the next step.

And when she woke up the next morning, he was still there, curled around her.

She didn't mind at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the massive delay in finishing this off! I am hopeless. I realise this is very short, but I wanted to end with just sweetness and quiet, and hopefully I've achieved that, even in so few words. Thank you for all your lovely comments on this fic, you've been absolutely darlings <3

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you all again for your amazing feedback! This fandom has been so much fun to throw myself headfirst into. Come see me on Tumblr if you fancy it: cesays.tumblr.com. It's 50/50 profound insights into the human condition and gifs of Danny Castellano.  
> \- C x


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